Unless you have reason for concern, I think you should retain privacy. That’s how I grew up too. E.g. nobody entered my room without knocking and asking for permission.

i think a shared computer would be ok. not a shared email account. cell phones? no. purses pockets and wallets? def not. email accts should be separate too. you do need your privacy in marriage.

i agree with you on this,at first when i got the passwords,i would check kinda alot,but now i rarely do. my purse and cell sit out in the open and he has gone thru my purse before,but the thing is im not hiding anything so i dont care,when he did it the first time i walked in on it and just said put it back where u got it,cuz my purse is really organized.of course he didnt but thats the only reason i kinda got mad. if ur not hiding anything, why would u want privacy? i randomly find cool things around the house and i throw them in my purse,so i dont blame my hubby for wanting to go thru it(i ususally throw his cool looking tools in there)lol

compromise!!
So if he isn’t comfortable with you having access to all of that personal info, maybe you guys can have an agreement that a few things are off limits to the other… like wallet and phone.. every thing else is open.
There is rule for married ppl. Its just what you guys are comfortable sharing.
I am like you, i like to have every thing out on the table. I just don’t see the need to hide or make things so uptight.
Good luck!

I think that there is a certain amount of trust that goes along with all of that privacy. My husband and I have our own e-mail accounts, phones, etc.. He hasn’t gone in my purse that I know of, but it wouldn’t bother me if he did. I have nothing in there he doesn’t know about. I’ve picked up his phone to play games, make a call, send text messages and there is no problem on his end. I also go through his pockets as he does mine on laundry day.

I’d ask your husband what he is hiding.

Privacy in a marriage is a natutral thing, as you are not giving up the person you are you are. You are building a relationship with another person who is also entitled to their privacy. If you do not have some me time no matter what it may be, your stress level can be affected. Something you really need to considert is you knew these things about him before you got married, knowing that this would carry over into your marriage you should have been prepared to compromise on it.

no way jose!!!! privacy is gone, you are married. you should have access to anything you want, and the same for him. i totally agree with you

I’ve been married for 12 years and I want my privacy. I trust my husband He has his privacy I wont try to get into his things and as far as I know he doesn’t get into mine. I have no reason to spy.

By privacy, my husband and I will not open mail addressed to the other. After that, anything is pretty much game….but I won’t look in his wallet and he doesn’t look in my purse. We have respect for each other.

I’m somewhere in the middle. My love and I know each other’s email passwords, for instance, because we trust each other not to snoop. Sometimes if I’m home and he’s not, he’ll ask me to go into his email and get some information out of it, and I’ve asked the same of him. We both think this is fine. However, if I came home and he was just reading my email for no reason, I would be pissed, and I assume he would be, too, if I did it to him. As another example, he’ll sometimes ask me to get something out of his wallet for him, which is fine, but if I started randomly going through it, that wouldn’t be. I guess our rule is privacy by default, access by permission. We trust each other enough to allow access to these things, but respect each other enough to refrain from snooping or nosiness.

I think than once your married, it’s ok to share everything. You shouldn’t need to be that private with those things unless you’re hiding something.

I think that having trust in a relationship means hiding nothing……..if you need to hide…. especially on a internet or computer…. chances are you are doing something that you SHOULDNT be doing anyways… and are worried that you may get caught…. and telling you that you both need privacy is his way of safegarding that.

just cuz u guys are married it doesnt mean u have to SHARE everything!!!!!!!!i wouldnt wanna know my husband’s private life(i dont have a husband yet, but i still wouldnt want to)!just give him his own life and have yours……

I think there should be an understanding - you are both married, and therefore nothing is yours anymore. You have promised to share each others lives until the day you die - not just share a part of each other’s lives (i.e.: I’ll only share my email) but your whole life… you became one.
With that being said I dont’t think you should need access to each other lives for reasons such as a lack of trust, or simply being nosy. I don’t think it should ever be a thing where you have to run into the other room to answer the phone kind of privacy, but I think for sanity sake you need to be able to have something you can sit alone and do without someone looking over your shoulder.

The one who desperately needs so much privacy is as bad as the one that desperately needs to know every little detail of the other.

well i agree with your husband to some extent, i agree that we need to be transparent with each other though, but when it comes to my purse and wallet i d allow my hubby to roam thru it at all, i remember one time my hubby went through my purse just roaming and it pissed the hell out of me, since then he knows to never roam through my purse ever again, but things like cell phones, computers, email accounts etc, don’t really bother me at all, my hubby is very open too, so we don’t really have that problem.

just because your married, you dont loose the right to be yourself and still have your own things private.
theres no need for concern unless your thinking somethings happening.

i believe in keeping some things still private because you are still your own persona. theres nothing wrong with that unless done in purpose for your spouse not to see.

My wife and I don’t keep that stuff from each other, but we still respect each other’s privacy and trust eachother enough to not abuse that access

I’m very zealous of my privacy, but I don’t need to hide anything from my husband, and I -definitely- don’t need to go into his e-mails, wallet, or anything of the sort. We call it respect. I respect his privacy and he respects mine. We share many things, many more important things. We are open in our conversations and we trust each other enough that we don’t need to nose around each other’s private stuff.

I think that some privacy is warrented to keep your identity after marriage. It is not entirely a bad thing to have seperate things that your spouse does not have access to. I do not mind my husband getting into my purse if he needs something out of it but he refuses to do so without asking me. I think it is a respect thing.

I agree that everything should be out in the open when it comes to those things I mean after all you’re married you shouldn’t have anything to hide right now I’m not saying its okay to go and look through everything everyday but if sometimes you do get the urge and wanna have a look see it should be okay just don’t over due it. A word of advice is to make sure that’s the real reason he feels so strongly about you not having his passwords.

Absolutely not

That’s just insane to be doing that. I can understand if you both are completely comfortable sharing every little tiny thing together, then you both can be crazy enough to sit around on a Friday night and go through each other things.

When any couple gets married that does not automatically make it alright to have access to everything you feel you should have access to.

Don’t get me wrong I do agree with what I think you are trying to say, just for the fact that you are sharing your life together so you should have more access to those things then anyone else in his life.

To think it’s all right to be able to have access to whatever you want is selfish.

It’s one thing to borrow his phone to make a call when yours is dead. Or to grab some money for gas because he said he had a couple of bucks for it in his wallet. As well as him going through your purse to grab the car keys. That’s normal.

Your husband is 100% right about being entitled to your own privacy and you should not try to change that. Growing up with a open family has nothing to do with wanting to take away someones privacy.

Even if you think he might be cheating on you it is still not all right. You both need to set boundries with each other or you will end up crossing the line with him to many times and that could make things even worse then it already is.

Why would you want access to those things anyways???

It just doesn’t make any sense.