If she is under 16, i don’t think she should have computar, My sister is 15 and her friend also 15 is a A* student in school (very clever and not interested in boys at all) and a very good girl untill her mum let her use the computar of her own free will and she was groomed and raped by a pedophile (which is now in jail).

I’m not saying don’t let your daughter use it, Just keep a eye out for her. Thats the best thing you can do.

And as for her dad, He’s only TRYING to be a good dad, Looking out for his daughter. Alot of wierd people in this world.

Good luck!

Oh my goodness!!! How dare they go through her things and then punish her for what they find. That is so wrong. You Mom are doing the right thing, like you said the respect goes both ways. Also, personal thoughts and feelings are not to be read by anyone other than yourself or who YOU decide to share them with. This could be very devastating to your daughter and she may eventually need theropy because she could start to have trust issues with her Dad and step mom. I will pray for your daughter that they stop doing this to her as I know exactly how it feels and would NEVER want anyone to have to experience it. Good luck!

I think you are correct and that there isn’t a happy medium

If she is truly a good girl then older a she gets the more she should be treated as and Adult, or the same way you want to be treated. After all if she earns your trust, then why isn’t she being trusted? If her step mom and dad keeps this up, you may find that she will begin to openly rebel. I found that my siblings and I were what my family thought of us. I was the good kid and so I had no reason to rebel. My sister on the other hand was the bad kid so the older she got the more she rebelled.

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t be a Parent, and make sure she is doing what should be she is doing, but this is not a good way to do that. I think you need to tell her step-mom and dad that although they are technically allowed to do this, that they should still not be doing it.

As a teenager myself. And knowing the opinion of all my friends. I would feel extremely offended if my parents were to invade my personal privacy. Her dad and step mum need to realise that she needs a mean to express her feelings and learn about herself, she can only do this by talking to people who can relate to her. If her private communication with her friends is cut off, it will also cut off her natural development.

Also, parents need to understand that once their child reaches their teens, they need to accept they need independence, and the parent will no longer play as important role in the teenager’s development.

I’m 18, and my sister is 15. I have a lot of experience with this. We tend to say a lot of crap online and in texts that we would never say in person, so they can be embarrassing when read.

NEVER read someones journal. Not only is it wrong, it is completely rude too!

Only you and her father really have any right to go through her things, and even then you shouldn’t.

We are not stupid; if we have something to hide, it won’t be in our rooms.

She may not tell you everything, but if you ask her specifically about something, then she might. You have to make mistakes to learn your place in the world.

There should be a way for her to lock her phone from her dad. It will be in the main menu somewhere. As for her journal, you can probably get one with a good lock, or get a small safe/locker she can keep things like that, and ask her if you can have a key. If she knows you won’t go through her things, she will give you one (Or tell her to keep it at school in her locker).

When we know parents are going through our things, it makes us mad, and not trust our parents, but people in general.

It is not easy being a teenager, but parents who go through everything and don’t let us make mistakes make things worse.

it’s okay for her to have her own computer but with right supervision of course..
as for going through her journals, that’s totally wrong!!! it’s something that is personally hers and nobody else is permitted to look through that…
talk to her dad and step-mom and tell them that they are way past the limit…

they shouldn’t be going through her things.
do they have a reason not to trust her?
we are all entitled to privacy and as a teenager she will be even more secretive about things if she knows he r things are been looked at.
maybe she could leave any personal things with you.get her backup mobile.one she just uses at her dads for emergencies then they won’t find anything to tell her off for.
best of luck with this one

Is it possible that your good daughter acts differently at her father’s house? Maybe the way she behaves at his house causes him to think she’s doing things behind his back that she shouldn’t be doing.

The fact that you don’t go through her things could be because you respect her….is that how she sees it? Maybe she sees it as you don’t care to know what she’s doing, and with whom and how she feels about it. Now, I’m not saying read her diary, but I would check what she’s doing on the computer. There are alot of predators out there hoping to find a child who has a parent that isn’t checking.

As far as whether or not the dad and step-mom are out of line…they run their household the way they see fit and I wouldn’t interfere and try to assert any authority there. You don’t have any. If your daughter was being abused or terrorized, that would be one thing, but if her privacy isn’t up to par to the level of privacy you give her, leave it alone.

I can’t tell anybody how to take care of their kids but i would try to be somewhere between. If there are things that she doesn’t want to talk to you about but wants you to know she might leave them out for you to find and then you can go to her. If you are not looking you might miss something important. Besides every teenager hides something from their parents.

u have to trust them until theres a reason not to. i trust mine and i dont go through her stuff and we are very open to each other… i dont think ur doing wrong. but i feel her dad is and for sure the stepmom. they are just going to chase her away. not from u but ur daughter will get tired of the chit and stop wanting to be around them

I have a daughter who got her own computer as a Junior/Senior……… from her grandparents who wanted her to be prepared for college…………. I used to skim through her emails………. only because if I saw an unfamiliar name, I asked about it……….. We had open communications…………. I knew who her friends were, who she spoke with………. as she didn’t have a cell phone, I didn’t have that worry…………but I didn’t ever read her journals………. those are private………. but when it comes to computers…….. nope, too many weirdo’s and sickos out there………….
I didn’t have to go through drawers………. however, your daughter might have exhibited some behavior that lost her trust with her dad…… so as much as we like to think our kids are angels………. sometimes they aren’t ………. find out from your husband what she has done to lose his trust that he has to monitor everything ……….and if there is no loss of trust, then ask him the purpose behind the searches…… but it sounds like you and your ex need to talk and the step mom needs to take a step back

Her dad and step mom are totally out of line! She should have her privacy. They are disrespecting her as a person.